| I Am Not a Cop!: A Novel | 
 enlarge | Authors: Richard Belzer, Michael Black
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Category: Book
List Price: $24.00
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Avg. Customer Rating:  8 reviews
Sales Rank: 53660
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 9.3 x 6.2 x 1.1
ISBN: 1416570667
Dewey Decimal Number: 813.6
EAN: 9781416570660
ASIN: 1416570667
Publication Date: October 14, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: perfect inside and out, quick shipping
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Product Description
IN THIS CAPTIVATING, OFTEN HILARIOUS DEBUT MYSTERY, ONE OF THE GREAT COMEDIANS OF OUR TIME BLENDS FACT WITH FICTION, AS LAW & ORDER: SVU'S RICHARD BELZER'S OFF-CAMERA PERSONA COMES TO LIFE ON THE PAGE, EMPLOYING INVESTIGATIVE KNOW-HOW AND COMEDIC TIMING IN EQUAL MEASURE TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY SURROUNDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF A TRUSTED FRIEND.When Richard Belzer meets Rudy Markovich, nyc medical examiner, for dinner in Brighton Beach, he has little reason to expect anything more than a friendly bull session. But in the next twenty-four hours Belzer finds himself in the middle of a vicious street brawl, splashed across the tabloid headlines as an out-of-control celeb, and fearing for the life of his good pal Rudy -- who police assume is sleeping at the bottom of the East River. As Belzer finds himself increasingly required to call upon the resources he taps to portray Detective Munch on nbc, he maintains his sense of humor and carries us along on a rollicking ride through the underworld of New York City. With Rudy kidnapped, or worse, it falls to The Belz to track him down and solve the riddle to the vanishing act. The lives of Detective Munch and Richard Belzer collide and mesh in I Am Not a Cop! as one of America's great comics and TV cops brings all of his talents to bear in book form and provides a triumph of the mystery genre.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 3 more reviews...
 terrible language January 6, 2009
I could not get past chapter 3. The language was not for Christian reading. I am sorry I bought the book!
 My Wit Is Quick December 15, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
The Belz takes to the street in this fun, if at times a little repetitive, riff on the Chandler / Spillane genre of PI fiction. (It's actually a little similar to those books Ed Koch used to write - but trust me, this is better.) Things get a little tedious as the he cracks wise to cops and thugs alike, but the underlying plot and its details are really pretty solid. There are a few political asides, but I hope if there's another offereing Belz goes full steam ahead on his conspiracy theories and left-wing inclinations.
Belzer Moonlights as a Writer December 9, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
The man who has played a police officer on TV for who-knows-how-long is now portraying himself in a novel about, well, a personal and perplexing crime. Just as in real life, in I Am Not a Cop, Belzer is an actor that has been depicting a police officer on TV, and he finds himself in a situation that requires him to tap into all of his experience at "being a detective,"when a friend of his turns up missing.
After working with fictional crime writing for so long, it's no wonder that Belzer seems to have a knack for it, and not only that, but he has injected his comedic voice into the novel, as well. Poking fun at himself, at fiction, and at his own book throughout the prose, Belzer still manages to write not only an adequate mystery, but goes above most entries into the genre. I Am Not a Cop presents itself in true New York style-Sarcastic at all times except when it's appropriate, and notably proficient at telling a story.
I Am Not a Cop! November 16, 2008
0 out of 3 found this review helpful
This is a fun read...I like him in L&O because his conspiracy buff comes out and I am too. I love mystery/murder stories and of course you sense his personality through this story. Good book.
 Belzer Gives Us a Great Ride! November 14, 2008
3 out of 4 found this review helpful
Richard Belzer's first foray into fiction, "I Am Not a Cop," is a fine blend of Belz as a self-insert, a character in his own tale of his missing friend, Russian thugs, the rock trade, a Ukrainian boxer, martial arts, a very mysterious redhead and a personal assistant named Kalisha ("Kali") Carter - in addition to various other characters, all of whom are memorable and well-developed.
To put it bluntly, this book is one hell of a great ride and a terrific example of Belzer's adeptness with noir lit. After reading his most famous non-fiction work, "UFOs, JFK and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to be Crazy to Believe," as well as his ghost-writing of Ireland's previous Secretary of State Mo Mowlam's "Momentum"), it was always clear to me the guy knows how to spill his wit by way of the pen. I wondered what was in store for his fiction, especially since his co-author's (Michael Black's) style is very different from that of The Belz. Their styles meshed from the start, leaving me to wonder where one began and the other ended.
For those of you unfamiliar with the basic plot, it unfolds with Belz meeting a dear friend, Rudy Markovich, over dinner one night. Rudy's a troubled man, but he won't divulge to Richard exactly why. After a post-prandial brawl with some dangerous Ukrainians, Rudy bids Belz goodnight with the promise to meet him at Madison Square Garden for Alexi Zotkin's boxing match. He never shows, which starts Belz unraveling the mystery of his friend's disappearance.
Assigned a personal assistant, the intrepid Kali Carter, to `keep him out of trouble' after his street brawl made the local rag, he and Carter delve deep into a world of Russian diamond traders and political intrigue, all the while shadowed by sleaze-bag reporter Cyrus Gustafson. Balancing his acting responsibilities on "Law & Order: SVU" with his investigative skills, he's also under the near-constant scrutiny of Vernon Franker, "assistant to the assistant" on the show. The pressure continues to ratchet upward on Belz as he and Kali are drawn deeper and deeper into palpable danger. All the while, a beautiful Russian redhead interjects herself into the mix, purportedly because of her unique connection to the missing Markovich.
When it seems best for Belz to hire a private investigator to assist in the search for Rudy, things go from dangerous to deadly for both Richard and Kalisha, as Belz contemplates the last time he spoke to his wife and whether or not he'll ever hear her voice again. This noir thriller has a most satisfying - and completely credible - conclusion, which will leave you nodding sagely after the fact over the clue carefully planted along the way. As I said earlier, it is certainly one hell of a great ride. It's also a quick read at 257 fast-paced pages of prose.
Those of you looking for the `real' Belz between the pages won't be disappointed. While a reviewer at Publishers Weekly felt there wasn't enough of the acerbic actor on display, I can assure you that's untrue. While Michael Black imbued the slightly more fictional Belz with exceptional martial arts skills (Black is a member of Chicago's thin blue line and a black belt in tae kwon do), there are plenty of the comic's smart-ass remarks, asides and pop culture references to make his fans very happy. For those wanting more about the tall, fashionably thin actor, there are tidbits from Belz's life and lifestyle scattered throughout, like his near-constant jones for coffee in lieu of sleep.
While there have been rumblings about a feature film and other related projects, what I'd like to have first is an audiobook narrated by Belz. (Or perhaps a lengthy podcast, given our current technology.) I think he can do even more to bring his characters to life in such a medium. Word on the street is, he's already turned his second manuscript in to Simon & Schuster, with yet a third book in the planning phase. It would be wonderful to see this become a long series of books, in collaboration with Michael Black. (Both authors are pet lovers, too. What's not to love about a guy with two dogs and a writing partner with five cats?)
As an actor, comedian, producer and writer, Richard Belzer has this entertainment thing down pat - he always leaves his audience wanting more.
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